W20-492
Published: January 22, 2024
Holy shit.
Those were the words I couldn’t help but smile and say as I entered W20-492, the fourth floor of the stud men’s restroom. I’ll be honest, when I first got sent here, I thought it was a joke. A reader of the site who we’ll call Eddie because that’s their name requested that I report on the fourth floor stud restroom. I’d never been to stud-4, and when I arrived and saw that it was all under construction, I thought I was being fucked with. Ahahaha, Eddie! A nice little prank for the little piss-boy! Bathroom baby, finally sold down the river and made a fool of himself! This thought solidified even further when I saw how much space The Tech has for their office compared to how little space I have, even though I’m busting my ass out here! (Though I did like their article on Brookline Lunch)
These thoughts swirled in my head as I entered the bathroom and gasped. Not a second later, I saw the pads and tampons dispenser, exited to make sure it actually was the men’s restroom, and then reentered. I thought I’d gone in the wrong one, but I’m instead happy to report on inclusive bathroom spaces for all.
I spend a lot of time fucking around in restrooms on campus. I go out of my way to find new ones and enjoy the variety and different aesthetics of the different ones available. I mean, someone has to. But despite my dicking around and jokes I make for these places, nothing could have prepared me for the bathroom of the future.
Let’s start with the fantastic, and most of it is. The first thing you’ll notice is that this bathroom is a very modern multi-occupancy restroom. The look of it is strikingly gorgeous, especially for the MIT campus. The sinks, mirrors, and soap dispensers and arranged in a way with adequate room and all compliment one another instead of feeling thrown in randomly. The tile of the floor and walls is simple but effective in its sophistication; it is such that even when the bathroom floor is dirty, it likely won’t feel that way, and that’s something I downright respect as someone who knows that aesthetic pleasures often outweigh the truth of situations.
Next you’ll notice that the stalls are all their own individual rooms. This is really what makes this bathroom stand so immensely high above the rest. Maybe this is standard, maybe it’s been done before, but most importantly, I’ve never seen this before. And as someone who hasn’t seen it, my subjective experience is also my objective review. Once again, MIT has managed to innovate and stay ranked so highly for a goddamn reason.
Now let’s get to the stalls. They’re damn near perfect. Cozy but spacious enough, interesting looking toilets, the privacy and slight sound-proofing oh-so-comfortable. It’s beyond compare. Today, somebody asked me if I’m a bathroom reader (I.e the kind of person who reads while on the toilet). I am, but I’m also a bathroom writer. I’m sitting on a toilet in W20-492 writing this right now while actively shitting. But it’s not the shit in my ass that’s making me emotional, dear reader. It’s the one thing about this restroom that is so horribly off, that I can’t help but point it out: this restroom has no hooks, and all my stuff is scattered across this stall as a result
Normally when I go to a stall, I hang up my backpack and my jacket on the coat hook on the inside. I like to think I’m a bathroom everyman; I take my poops one log at a time just like the rest of you pedestrians. And I like to think you dear readers hang up your coat and backpack too, or at least like having the option to on the coldest days. Here, you can’t. Genuinely it’s a travesty, and the thing making me feel most foolish isn’t the 15 inch laptop on my bare legs as I take a shit and write about it. No. It’s the fact that my laptop bag is sitting on the bathroom floor like that’s normal. Let’s also talk about the one other bad thing: the toilet paper dispensers are a bit difficult to dispense from and have that crappy 1-ply toilet paper. You know me; play fast, wipe hard. Here I get scared of ripping off too small a piece and doing the devil’s wipe.
This place, truly, is one of the best bathrooms I’ve visited on campus. I recommend anyone to go here to see the bathroom of the future. The bathroom is gorgeous looking for the MIT campus, the individual stalls feel wonderful and are space efficient compared to single-occupancy, the inclusivity of the tampon dispenser in a men’s restroom is nice, and I just can’t help but smile when I’m here. Small mistakes push it from a 5/5, but goddamn if it isn’t close.
VERDICT: 4.7/5 Plungers. Add hooks you silly geese.
EXTRAS - Here’s some extra photos from this restroom I thought were interesting. Really soak it all in:
