THE STUD; W20-205

Published: November 06, 2019

As soon as I walked into this bathroom, I knew I had to review it. The bathroom had a distinct shit smell, and I was ready to lend mine own contribution. As I walked into the bathroom, I made eye-contact with an older gentleman dressed in a plaid button up and khakis. I like to think we could’ve been friends.

I walked into a stall about as large as a coffin. Perhaps it was a reminder that this was better than the alternative. I felt like I’d just walked into a turkish* prison. It felt like a place you wanted to pee on rather than in. At least that explains the sticky ground.

I sat down on the toilet and it was warm. I thought to myself “why can’t this always happen?” There was no toilet paper. Luckily, I had brought my own. Another day and I may have had to use the tube.

I exited the stall. Though I didn’t use them, the urinals seemed of poor quality. They were labeled with the brand “American Standard”. If this is the standard America has to offer, I don’t want to see the rest (#VivaLaMexico).

The sinks were just low enough that I had to bend over to use them; kinky, but impractical. The paper towel dispensers were high enough that I had to reach up to grab them. I smile knowing the bathroom is at least partially Shaq-friendly.

This is a bathroom that only MIT engineers can design, and that shows from the decaying walls to the paper towels littered on the floor.

VERDICT: 2 / 5 plungers

*Don’t capitalize the word ‘turkish’ I don’t recognize their sovereignty