9-504: BREAKING NEWS

Published: November 29, 2023

Not every bathroom I review is going to be worth reviewing, and yet I do it anyway. That’s how committed I am not only to the bit, but also to you, you sexy beast of a reader. (By the way MIT Bathroom Review is looking for donations). But I’ll review this one quick: it’s nice, it’s private, only one light works, there’s an extra soap dispenser because I assume the regular soap isn’t something you want to sniff deeply, it feels modern, and it’s gender-neutral.

Stop right there, cutie pie, I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself. Gender-neutral?? But it doesn’t come up as gender-neutral when I look it up on the MIT Restroom Directory! Yeah, exactly, that’s my point. And please don’t call me cutie-pie. I know you meant it all in good fun, but I really don’t think that this is an appropriate venue to do that. I am a journalist first and foremost. If you have a problem with that, fill out the contact form.

ANYWAY, this bathroom shows up incorrectly on the MIT Bathroom Directory. It shows up not as gender-neutral, but as a men’s bathroom. I had gone to it because I was interested to see if the men’s bathroom had a good view of the sunset or dome up here (it doesn’t). What I thought would be a cozy place to drop the cocoa syrup was instead a bastion of bathroom-labeling malpractice. I call on MIT Restroom Directory to clear up the misinformation proliferating their site, and I encourage you, the students, to find other examples of mislabeled bathrooms. Democracy Dies In Doo-Doo.