14N-133 (Outside Hayden Library)

Published: September 07, 2023

An image of a toilet with some toilet paper on the floor around it.

Before I start, I just want to let you know that I wanted to love this restroom. I really did. But it’s busted.

When I found myself deciding whether or not to pick up nature’s call, I had been walking out of Hayden Library and toward the Lewis Music Library. I felt that sweet feeling of fullness and satisfaction that precedes a pissing sesh, and as I wondered to myself where to go to squeeze the lemons, I suddenly found myself at the door to 14N-133. I normally don’t get nervous like this before peeing, but people kept telling me this restroom was amazing. Is it going to live up to the hype? Will satisfaction touch me? These thoughts swirled in my head like a toilet flush I pushed the bathroom door open.

Now let’s get this out of the way early: I was wowed by some things. Cathedral ceilings. Free tampons. A 3 second delay on the flush. This is a restroom that has so much to be prideful about. But pride cometh before the fall and I was not thrilled. This place felt… stuffy. I wanted to run, I wanted to cry. All I really had to do here was add a yellow arc to the rainbow of life and I still felt claustrophobic. Something about the high ceilings and small room made it feel like I was in a deep hole and all I needed was a rope. And this was after everyone had told me it was so luxurious.

Now I’m just nit-picking cause I’m already pissed (no pun intended, but if you laughed, pun intended). There was some toilet paper on the floor and a Taco Bell bag tucked behind the sink faucet. I don’t like to comment on cleanliness cause it’s no one fault but you, the reader’s, but come on. Who door dashed and then left that there?

A topdown view of a bathroom sink. The aforementioned Taco Bell bag. Unfortunately, there was no food left in the bag :(

So who is this bathroom for? Not me, and you need to look out for number 1. But more importantly, it’s probably for the person who would bring their laptop to a restroom and work there for hours, maybe even take a nap there. There’s an outlet nearby for charging, and bringing food doesn’t seem like an issue. Hell, bring a date here, I don’t care anymore.

VERDICT: 2/5 plungers

P.P (Post plunger): Here’s a gallery of additional photos I think may be important to inform your experience:

Photo of Hayden Library from the bathroom window. Green leakage from a water drain can be seen on the wall. It looks gross.
This is your view.
Photo of Hayden Library from the bathroom window. Green leakage from a water drain can be seen on the wall. It looks gross.
Look at this dutch angle I took. This is your view if you tilt your head.
Photo of Hayden Library from the bathroom window. Green leakage from a water drain can be seen on the wall. It looks gross. Photo of Hayden Library from the bathroom window. Green leakage from a water drain can be seen on the wall. It looks gross.
Front and back of mail slot leading to bathroom. Someone can open this up and do...something.